Intern! Yes, boss? It’s been nearly a whole year since Q&A have paid us to advertise a mix CD. What gives? How would I know? Aren’t you our sales guy? You should be maintaining our relationships with clients. Or, well, client. Since they’re the only ones. Sorry, sir, I barely keep a good relationship with you. How could you expect me to keep a relationship with someone that doesn’t boss me around all day? Touche… wait a minute. I think you just insulted me. I think a piece of mail shaped suspiciously like a CD case has come in. And what a stroke of time to come in at! It’s currently 11 AM. Ah, the good ol’ “eleventh hour” as they call it. “It” being this mix CD. Q&A comes through again. Now if only their check will as well. Shall we let them get to it? It appears to be that time.
Man, online shipping is so convenient these days. Did you know you can choose exactly the time that something will arrive? This seems like some odd foreshadowing, Q. What do you have in mind? Oh, nothing, A. Just when the perfect time would be to release our new mix CD’s playlist. Is that why you’ve been sitting on the mix CD for a month and a half now, even though you finalized the track listing two months ago? And I mean literally sitting on it. Eyyyy, you sit on it! I’m like a mother hen. Patient, waiting for the being of boundless potential to hatch when it’s ready. …You already finished this a month and a half ago. Shh! Don’t wake snookums!
Now that that’s out of the way, I really think we should go one Q&A “reveal party” without getting meta. We’ve done that for the past six. No one likes it. Ho ho ho, A. No one likes these regardless of the content! And we’re meta again. Awesome. Look, it’s true. The more you overthink and overwrite, the less people will want to read. So stop overthinking this intro and let’s get on with it. Fine, fine. Our eleventh mix CD is titled “11th Hour”. Mostly, the name came from what number we were on. We do tend to forget where we are chronologically without numbers on these things. See also: The Fifth. Of course, the other part of the reason behind the name is that, well, we’ve taken so long between CDs, that our fans thought we were dead. And we’re trying to make a grand comeback when all seems lost. You know, at the 11th hour. That is what that cliche means, right? Don’t look at me. What do you think I am, an English major? I’ll say again what I said about English majors when we released Paris: “Yeah, English majors love their mix CDs”. I thought you said not to get meta! Oh dear, we’ve come full circle. Guess that means this explanation is over. Nope, it’s just starting.
Graffiti – CHVRCHES
I love songs about bathroom stalls. Yeah, they really don’t “stall” the flow of mix CDs. Cut that out. This typewriter doesn’t have a backspace button. You know this! Ugh. Uh, I do know that this song is a great, energetic start to a CD. No wonder CHVRCHES put this at the start of their album… Love is Dead? Is that the vibe we’re going for? Look, some CDs go for “summer vibes”, we’re going for love is dead vibes. Dead vibes don’t sound pleasant. Yeah, it sounds like the name a random Grateful Dead tour. I hate those guys. Why are we talking about them when we could be talking about the great song, Graffiti, by CHVRCHES, that we put at the start of our mix CD? Well, uh, I’m writing to ask you did you achieve all you wanted to do? You can’t quote lyrics at me to get out of this. Uh, uh, time to kill was always an illusion, time stood still, and now we never will. I agree with that, I guess.
Get Into My Car – Echosmith
Wait, I thought you said love is dead vibes were what we were going for. Now you’re putting unashamed love songs in here? Well, if you listen to this and the previous song back to back, they sound like the same song from different dimensions. One where love is dead, and the other where love (and capitalism if you watch the horrible music video) are alive. You’re quite right about the similar sound. Same sort of triumphant synth hook that then has a female vocalist sing about love. Except here, love is being driven, where as in the last song the couple was being driven apart. How poetic. See, this track ordering makes so much sense. Heh, track. That’s a car term. Please do not get into my car. I always think she says “get into my wife” in the chorus. Seriously, do not get into my car.
Agora – Bear Hands
This is so me! So so me! Man, is this song me? Cause it feels like me. What on earth are you talking about? Who are you talking to? Uh, this song is so me, dude. It’s about a crazy guy who stays home alone all day who is trying to convince someone to hang out with him! In that case, this song isn’t even close to being about you. For one thing, you don’t even have someone to ask to hang out with. What about you? I’m far away, dude. Wait, I thought we were writing this on a typewriter together? Oh dear. Can a reader please break the truth to my good friend, the comedian, Q? The only truth is that I’m in love with this feeling. Another song about love not being dead. Yeah, but this guy might as well be dead with how little social interaction he gets. At least he’s trying. When I am gone, ain’t no more crying.
Campus – Bastille
Speaking of “gone”, how about all those people gone from college? I bet they would have really identified with this song as college students. Too bad they graduated/dropped out or whatever and can no longer identify with the song. I feel that if you ever were in a situation that seems similar to another you come across in real life or in entertainment, you’re allowed to identify with that situation. Nope. Only when in the same situation can you “empathize”. Can’t say I empathize with that opinion. Can’t say I empathize with your face! Just another’s words in your mouth… Never leave me out, I’m standing by the sidelines. I watch you fall, heaven help me. Oh man, I’m so good at this sequencing nonsense without realizing it. Check out the next song. Can I not?
I Fall Over – Wild Cub
See, if you think about it, we just transitioned from being the guy to watch another fall, to being the guy who fell. Yeah, sick narrative brah. But… what does it mean? That’s the beauty of the mix CD. If the transitions are good, the overall “narrative” doesn’t matter. Just like high school essays. I’ll have you know all my high school essays were very important! I’m sure that’s what your parents said. It’s true. We tear up our happiness and throw away our love. I can’t believe no one out there has ever called us out on how much of a non-sequitur our quoting of lyrics is. We claim that we’re so good at song transitions and yet can’t even stay coherent for one paragraph. Well, no one has ever read one of these, so there’s your answer. I fall over. And nothing ever shows.
Wild – Royal Teeth
Alright, let’s go at least one song without making fun of ourselves. Woah, what a wild concept! Just like the name of this song! Wild! Yeah, they got it the first time. Who is they??? …come on, man. Anyway, as far as everyone on earth is aware, this is the only song by Royal Teeth. And as far as everyone on earth is aware, this is the only blog post on this website! Dude, are you okay? You’re lashing out at everything. I’m your friend. You can talk to me. I believe I can make you scream. You have a very short-term memory. What did I just say about quoting song lyrics? That it’s always good and funny. You’re right, you can make me scream.
Everything Now – Arcade Fire
It’s a happy family with everything now! Part of that everything is this mix CD. And part of this mix CD is this song. Now that’s an appropriate amount of meta. But if we want everything now, we need to be as meta as possible. Why can’t we just talk about the song? What is there to talk about? It kind of sounds like Wild in terms of hook and instrumentals, but the vocals are very different. Yeah, that’s good information! We should talk more like that. Be the change you want to see in the world. That’s something that I read. Clearly, that filled up your head. That reminds me of everything now, the song by Arcade Fire that we were talking about. I thought you said not to be meta! Oh well.
18 – Echosmith
Another very relatable song for the younguns. It hurts to be 18… and 19… and 20… and any age you are. Yeah, I guess we really were going for love is dead vibes. Though this song is more about life in general than love. And it’s about driving! Echosmith’s last EP really was all about cars… hmm, wonder if they got paid by GM. I hope we got paid by GM for mentioning them twice. I feel like we have to pay them for using their name. But this is free advertising! It hurts to be a mix CD maker trying to make money. We really are stuck in a daydream that we’re gonna make it big, aren’t we. Again, you’re the one that’s supposed to be positive. You can’t be positive forever.
Forever – CHVRCHES
Wow, what a coincidence! It’s been forever since we were writing this article! It’s been less than a month, don’t be dramatic. You know what they say: you can’t spell “dramatic” without “Q”. Man, this song is so good. Don’t ignore me! What else am I supposed to do when this song is on repeat… forever? Don’t be dramatic. You know what they say: you can’t spell “dramatic” without “A”. I thought you hated those spelling jokes. Yeah, when you make them. I’m hurt. I thought we weren’t going to insult each other anymore! Oh, I thought I told you that I’d hate you for forever. Forever? Forever. What a catchy chorus. I’m glad we were joking that entire time. Yep. Joking.
Speak – Wild Cub
Speak to me, A. It’s been another two weeks since our last edits. You don’t know where you’re going and you want to talk? Wrong song. I’ll close my eyes, and wait for you to speak. Sorry, the phone lines are tied up. This is the internet! I only have dial-up. What year is it? It’s been 2008 for the past ten years as far as I’m aware. Oh god, the housing crash is still happening. And it won’t ever stop. Alright, I’m going to close my eyes again, and you’ll stop speaking. This is the internet. I never was. Wow, I can really tell Halloween is near with jokes like this. More like Spook!!!
Tuttifrutti – Phoenix
And we are reborn again. Hmm, now that I think about it, our personalities kind of die at the end of each paragraph and then are reborn at the start of the next. Just like real life. What? What? It made as much sense as what you said. And I’m saying that Phoenix is a good band whenever they are reborn. Yeah, I had a tough time picking what to choose for the traditional #11 Phoenix track. I wanted Fior di Iatte originally, but it just didn’t flow well enough, so we get… a different ice cream flavor. At least you didn’t run into the ice cream store, get one flavor, run out, and then come back ten minutes later to get an Italian Soda. Yeah, it’s a good thing we both did that. And uh this is a good song.
Mountain at My Gates – Foals
The line “I see a mountain at my gates” has to be a metaphor… but for what? It’s a metaphor for life. Don’t throw my own catchphrases back in my face! Perhaps your own catchphrases are the mountain you see at your gate… What is my gate? The gate to a good life. So I have to get rid of all my catchphrases to break through the gate and have a good life? I believe so. Oh, this is NOT gonna be a good life. Wrong band. Also, that’s a catchphrase. Is anything I say more than once a catchphrase? Yes. Does this include words like “the”, “and”, or “or”? Are they catchphrases? Yes. Is “yes” your catchphrase? Yes.
Graceless – The National
Your jokes are graceless. Yours are tasteless. And didn’t you say we’d stop insulting each other? That was written a month ago. We stopped for long enough, don’t you think? You know how I hate this. I don’t have the sunny side to face this. All my thoughts of you are like bullets through rotten fruit. I am not my rosy self. Leave the roses on my shelf. Take the white ones, they’re my favorite. It’s the side effects that save us. The side effects of what? Repeating lyrics? Hey man, you brought it up. Yeah, but I wrote that like 5 minutes ago. That was long enough for me to forget where I was going with it. You are graceless. Just let me listen.
Bone Digger – Bear Hands
I really feel like a bone digger sometimes. Whatever that is. You know, a grave robber? You rob graves? Metaphorically. The heck does that mean? I just continually mine from holes where jokes that have died have been buried. Oh, right. The catchphrase thing. I see a life richer that way. But you clearly know the jokes are dead? And therefore worthless? No, not worthless. Graceless. Wrong song again. I feel like you’re digging your own grave. And that’s just the way I like it. But if you die, and you’re the bone digger, who is going to dig you up? The lies, the lies, the BS and the lies. Lucky to be alive. I’ll just be watching your past lives on television, then. On old imperial grounds? You know it.
The House That Heaven Built – Japandroids
Can’t say I like the namedrop of the bad place in this song, but I like how loud and angry it is. Yeah, it’s fun, even if it swears. The H Place isn’t a swear word. It’s a location. Then why are you censoring it in your text??? Whoever runs Pungry thinks it is a swear word and we have to play by their rules to get published. Don’t let the man tell you what to do. We have no way of knowing the site owner’s gender. I’m talking about the metaphorical man. Can we stop talking in metaphors? What is the house heaven built in actuality? It’s our souls. #Deep #SoTrue #Blessed I wish I was at this house, where everything evil dies. Then find a way to cleanse your heavy dirty soul. Wrong band. Twenty One Pilots is NEVER wrong. Except when we’re talking about Japandroids. There’s love in my shadow. Don’t quote lyrics and expect people to know it. Again, we’ve been doing this for centuries. Well, the one person who writes this has, anyway.
Nobody Really Cares If You Don’t Go to the Party – Courtney Barnett
And nobody really cares if he/she/it doesn’t go to the party anyway! What party? You know, the party. The only one. The only party out there. Yeah, the grand old party. Ain’t no party like a party you don’t attend. What is that a reference to? I dunno, I heard it on a YouTube video once, and now I can never forget it. Human creativity is crazy. Yeah, if you consider pulling together random strands of pop culture together “creative”. First of all, the memes class I went to in college would absolutely argue that’s creative. Second of all, isn’t that exactly what a mix CD is? Well, I know for sure that it isn’t a mixer. Which, by the way, you still owe me one mixer for lying to me originally that these weren’t invitations to mixers. You just misheard me. You get what you want, and you don’t even try. I try very hard.
Feel the Love Go – Franz Ferdinand
Where? From you to the general ether. But why? The song implies it just happens with no control on your part. How? I dunno, it just goes. Who? All of us will feel our emotions go at some point, so… everyone. When? When you think of a friend and then an enemy, according to the song. Now that you’re done with the 5 Ws, can we please have a real conversation? What? You need to take the L, just like the real Franz Ferdinand. I don’t think the band members of FF appreciate being called unreal. Well, they didn’t start World War 1, now did they? No, but they could start World War 3. You heard it here first, folks. When all four members of Franz Ferdinand are assassinated, World War 3 will start. Or maybe when they go on their own killing spree. You never know. It’s always the quiet ones. They make very loud music, though. I’m feeling my love for you go further and further…
Go – Wild Cub
Some nights I wonder where you are. Are you doing alright? Are you lost out in the dark? It is midnight as I write this, but it’s hard to get lost in the long journey between my arms and the keyboard. Go! Go! Go! Go! I’m not doing the keg stand. Hey, I’m just quoting the song, not pressuring you or anything. It’s like when I speak to you, I speak to myself. That doesn’t mean anything. Like, of course you are, because you can hear yourself talk no matter who you talk to. I see your pale face pained in the back of my mind. Don’t no-sell my very clever observation. Go! Go! Go! Go! Are you looking for me like I’m looking for you? I wanna know now if those words are real. Nothing about this is real.
A Thousand Times More – School of Seven Bells
But what about real love a thousand times more? That phrase genuinely makes no sense if you cut it off like that. The whole sentence is “I know someone who deserves real love a thousand times more”. And it’s true. I do. Oh? Who is this mysterious person that deserves real love a thousand times more, and who is the other person that deserves real love a thousand times less? I’ll give you a hint. They’re two people that have spent over 2 months trying to write over 5000 words no one will ever read. Very rude of you to assume no one will read the new book by [insert NYT Bestselling Author’s name here]. Very rude of you to assume anyone will bother finishing your own joke. See, I knew I was the one who deserved real love a thousand times more. A thousand times zero is still zero. It’s so sad to hear you call yourself a zero.
Graves – CHVRCHES
I will stop at nothing to dance on your grave. But I thought I was the bone digger? And now we’re full circle. Well, actually, that song was only 6 tracks back. We’re a third-circle at best. Well, actually, as you know, just mentioning the phrase “full circle” brings us back to the start of this mix CD post. Well, actually, as you know, if you couldn’t tell, being full circle would be referencing our first mix CD post. Oh god, that post is only like 2000 words long. How on earth did we get so… wordy? Clearly, the more you write, the more mature you are. Strong disagree. But at least we can agree on one thing: this is a great final track. Very true. It’s just a fun song to dance to. While dancing on graves, as CHVRCHES recommends. Look, if you don’t have a heart, I can offer you mine. Is what the lyrics say but I will not give you my heart. Good thing I already stole it with this mix CD. And I’m going to steal it back with our next one!
Chill 2: Which is the long-awaited sequel to our original chill mix! That’s right folks, hot off the presses we wanted to cool down and–I’ll be honest, there’s no way to make that wordplay sound natural. Uh, Coldplay? No, wordplay. Coldplay? There’s only one Coldplay song on here, and you know it. One too many!!! Eh, I’m kidding, it’s a good song by a good band. More on that when we get there. We put together another chill mix since there are a lot of good lower-energy songs. AKA depressing. Just a coincidence! Uh huh, and I’m sure it’s a coincidence you listen to all these songs in your room at night, thinking about all the choices you made in life. I hate that you know me so well. More on that when we get there. Anyway, we decided to write another 3500 words about another mix CD that no one will ever listen to nor will anyone read these words. And you wonder why most of these tracks are depressing? I don’t wonder.
UGH! – The 1975
This accurately sums up my feelings on having to write another 3000 words. Hey, you don’t have to write them. Plus, you’re only writing around 1500 of those. So I still write a term paper, but a midterm instead of a final? Yeah, but you aren’t getting graded on it at least. I give it an A-. Does that mean I get a Q+? There were so many ways to write this joke and we chose this one. There were so many ways to make this mix CD and we chose this one. Yep. At least The 1975 are always good. Just never again make a 4 song playlist with them in it, please.
Dove Season – In The Valley Below
Quick poll time. What’s the better song with “season” in the title? Buzzcut Season or Dove Season? Do we have so little to say that we have to bring in the Lorde for help? Anyway, it’s Dove Season in the summer and Buzzcut Season in the winter. Too bad we’re in the winter of our youth and it’s never ending! Much like this blog post. I mean, it ends when the reader stops reading. So before they even get here? There’s no way to respond to that in a way that’ll keep the conversation going. Improv is all about “yes, and”, you know. Yes, and I disagree. You can do improv without agreeing with your partner! It’s just way harder. And you’ll greatly… IMPROVe your routine with that. I hate that you know me. Wrong song!
Hate That You Know Me – Bleachers
Okay, now it’s the right song. It’s never truly wrong. But what if you don’t hate that the person knows you so well? We’ve said some crazy things, but that might truly be the craziest. Uh, uh, uh, don’t you mean… QwAziest??? UGH! Wrong song! Hey, who was just saying it’s all about “yes, and”? Yes, it’s the wrong song, and I’d rather talk about this one. What’s there to say? It’s good. Alright, I think we’re done here. It’s never over. Wrong mix CD completely.
Where the Sky Hangs – Passion Pit
I miss Passion Pit. It’s been a year and a half since he put out an album. It took him like 3 years between his first couple of albums to put up a new one. But that’s still a long time! And he said he’s taking an extended hiatus. He ate us? No, hiatus. Hi, ate us? Who has that unfortunate nickname? Who’s making this unfortunate string of jokes that don’t make sense in text? What’s the opposite of context? Protext? Yeah, protext yourself, buddy. There were so many places you could’ve gone with that, and that’s what you chose. Protext it, why don’t ya? I’m getting my picket signs out right now.
Killing You – Broods
The perfect song title doesn’t exist? Checkmate, atheists. Great one-two of old meme and even older meme. Would you say it’s killing you? I wish you could make up for it on the weekend, but it’s already passed. Without you going out, I bet. I totally went out! I went to a soccer game, I’ll have you know. Soccer? I hardly know er!!! Tasteless. Wrong song. Plus, you totally would’ve made the same joke if I had said that. Just because that’s true doesn’t mean you’re free from criticism. I can make up for it next weekend.
A Change of Heart – The 1975
Well, it’s my time to depart. You better have a change of heart right now, mister. I’m not writing more without you. Finding someone equally wordy won’t be hard. I’m warning you, have a change of heart. You said I’m full of diseases. But my eyes were full of regret! Then you took a picture of your salad and put it on the internet. There are no photos of my salads anywhere on the internet! Because they got deleted. You played a part, this is how it starts. But I’ve had a change of heart. I’ll stay. Hurray! We did it.
Lola – MIKA
I’ve made up my mind. You’re not going to fall in love this time? What? No. Don’t make me remake up my mind. Remake up, what a phrase. Sounds like a book about Hollywood. Wow. So many routes you could have taken, and you chose this one. I suppose I must re-remake up my mind. Come now, it’s just another stupid love song. You can borrow, beg or steal, but I won’t be convinced. I’m convinced those are the lyrics to Stubborn Love by The Lumineers. Maybe they stole them? Just like how this mix CD stole… someone’s heart? Not after they all changed their hearts. What a weird concept. Makes me think they just swapped their heart for a new one. Like a gear. Well, we’re all cogs in the machine… We live in a society.
Hey K – Passion Pit
Feh, neither of our names are K. This song is so out of place. So why’d you choose it? And it isn’t even very chill at all! There’s a climax to the song and everything! So why’d you choose it? Hey, we chose it. Don’t you dare try to pin this on me. We’ll mend and then agree that our love’s just light. What does that even mean? Uh, either our love isn’t heavy or it’s a wave. Actually, light is simultaneously a wave and a particle. And this is why I’m particlely inclined to wave goodbye. I think I should be the one waving goodbye after this nonsense. It’s a beautiful design that’ll rid all your pain in a landslide. That doesn’t sound any more pleasant. Love is the answer. To what question??? Why I chose it.
Four Walls – Broods
Uh oh, Q. There’s only four walls here. We can’t break more than one without getting in trouble *winks at camera*. No one’s recording this. Writing is the original form of recording, you knucklehead. That’s the rudest thing anyone’s ever said to me. You must not have a lot of conversations. Alright, that’s even ruder. I hardly know er!!! Again, you’d make the joke first any other time. Other? I hardly know er!!! I sincerely hope no one ever reads this. Well, you’re in luck. Good, because these four walls, now, are the only place I can breathe out. Yeah, breathe out your last breaths… because you’re going down.
No Place in Heaven – MIKA
Uh, heaven is up. And there’s no place in heaven for you! Now that’s mean. We built a dang house up there last mix CD, and now you’re saying there’s no place? No vacancies. Unless you’re a father. Welp, guess neither of us are ever getting in. #ForeverAlone Bring back trollfaces. No, don’t. Bring back fedoras, at least. Definitely not. Hey, back in 2012, these guys were super unthreatening and goofy. Now they’ve been radicalized and it’s just absolutely tragic how many people they’ve killed. Getting a little political here, but yes. The evolution of those online communities has been an extreme disaster that isn’t talked about enough. Because there’s too much else in the world that’s bad. Are you sure they can’t let us into heaven? No, everything is lost.
Lost and Found – Phoenix
And now found. You don’t know what you’re doing. Does anyone? No. Is this the end of the conversation? No. …Is this the start of a new improv tendency to go “no, and”? No. Will this entire paragraph just be me asking you questions? No. … … … Hmm, ellipses in italics don’t really show up. No. That wasn’t even a question! You’re not the boss of me now. Wrong song, but I’m glad you said something other than yes or no. Yes. And we’ve come full circle in one paragraph. Amazing. No.
Chaleur Humaine – Christine and the Queens
Finally I can be informative again. The song title translates to “human warmth”. Just in time for winter. The world outside is cold enough, we need some human warmth. We are in the winter of our youth. Wrong song, wrong paragraph, wrong everything. See, this is what you mean by “the world outside is cold enough”. Don’t use my own words against me. Je vais faire peu importe je veux. Nice Google Translate. Hey, I’ll have you know I took three semesters of French and I only needed to look up three of those words. Amazing. I took German 8 years and can translate most lyrics whenever I play it in the car. You can’t do more than translate the dang titles. I thought we were trying to be warmer! We are in the winter of our youth.
Night So Long – Haim
More like… post so long!! Nice, burning your own post. It’s for human warmth. Wrong song! This is the start of the sad section of the mix CD. Oh as if the rest of this post wasn’t sad enough. You’re only making the post longer with comments like that. And you’re only making it sadder! I say goodbye to love once more. In loneliness, my only friend. What about me? What about you? Aren’t I your friend? Well, yeah, but we’re quoting the lyrics. Don’t worry, there’s no shadow darkening the door. So I’m your friend until your memory is gone? Yes, but that’s so long. Now that’s the human warmth I wanted. Just in time for the depressing section.
St. Jude – Florence and the Machine
Which continues with a song named after a storm! Should’ve called this album the perfect storm. That just may be my next mix CD’s name. Good call. Thanks. Wow, look at how positive we are! Just in time for the depressing section. Don’t copy-paste what you write, especially if you wrote it a paragraph ago. I didn’t copy-paste it, I manually retyped it. Yikes. I’m learning so I’m leaving and even though I’m grieving I’m trying to find the meaning. Let loss reveal it. Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos… Makes you think. About what? I dunno, you’re the one thinking now. I’m trying to find the meaning. Don’t copy-paste what you write, especially if you wrote it three sentences ago. This would never pass a plagiarism check. Oh no our copyrights. More like… copywrong!!!
I Need My Girl – The National
I need my girl. Or a girl. Just anyone else, really. Haha, remember the time you lost your mind and drove your car into the garden? Yeah, I got out and said “I’m sorry” to the vines. And no one saw it. The perfect crime. What is a cannonballer, anyway? People that hang out with punks at parties. Oh, so jocks. Grr! I hate jocks! Uh, weren’t we jocks? The tennis team is preppy, not jocky. Yeah, prepping you to be a nerd!! Wow, sick burn. That you’re also caught in. Because you were on the team too. Oh we know we’re on each other’s team. Wrong song! I need my girl as well. You haven’t had a girl in years. Hey! I’m over it. It’s been 6 years. I’m over it. Don’t copy-paste what you just wrote–no, no, no, no.
See You Soon – Coldplay
No, don’t lose your trust. I never should have. We’re best friends, after all. Great exposition for the folks at home. It’s just too bad that we can’t live up to this song name and actually see each other soon. Yeah, soonest would be… holidays? I gotta start wearing a bulletproof vest while keeping all the windows closed so I can do my best. And then I’ll see you soon in a telescope lens. All I want is friends… And I’ll see you soon. Man, I remember “playing” this at an open mic. Why the quotes on playing? I just had my phone play in instrumental version of the track while I strummed a tennis racket and sang the words. Yeah, you’re gonna need that bulletproof vest if you do that in public. What, people no longer throw tomatoes? Unfortunately, no. They’re too expensive now that they’re all organic. Dang. Don’t break your back should you ever hear this. Well, don’t answer that, then. We’ve had two semi-happy songs in a row, let’s get back to depressing stuff.
Depreston – Courtney Barnett
Ah, that’s much better. Hey, you said we should look out further when it comes to putting different moods on this mix CD. No I didn’t. I said “this place seems depressing”. That’s not a value judgment. Well, I’m feeling very judged. If you’ve got a spare half a million, you could pay people to review your CDs better. If I had a spare half a million, I’d never spend it. Except on living expenses and internet. What about coffee? I’d buy a percolator and never have a latte greater. I could save over $43 a week! That’s right, folks. Act now and purchase a coffee maker online at any fine coffee trader. If you use the promo code “Chill 2” at checkout, you’ll receive half-off and a free iced coffee. Wow, I didn’t know we were sponsored by literally every single online retailer. Nah, just the ones that sell coffee makers. Maybe we really are moving up in the world?
Liability – Lorde
So far up that you’re gonna watch us disappear into the sun. Ah man, we’re still in the depressing section. It’s never over. I know that it’s exciting running through the night, but it’s also dangerous. I once split my head open at a birthday party that way. Yikes. Yeah, you should’ve seen the other guys! What were they doing? They were playing Goldeneye 64 while I was getting bandaged. Bottom 3 in birthday parties, gotta say. Sounds like you were a little much for them. One might say you were a liability. It did stretch their insurance. Soon after, I was forced to pull back, make other plans. Sure, that’s why you never get invited to anything anymore. The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy until all the tricks don’t work anymore. Then they get bored of me. Ah man, I think we really went too far down in terms of tone. That’s super tragic. Uh, but I was just quoting lyrics! Definitely being 100% tongue-in-cheek that entire time! Can’t wait until Sincerity Is Scary by The 1975 is on our next mix CD so I can use those lyrics to call out your very weak masking of emotions. Can’t do it yet! You’re gonna watch me disappear into the…
Moon – Foals
Moon. A lot less painful to die there, I’d imagine. In both cases, you’d die to the vacuum of space before anything else. I wish I could harness space’s vacuum to clean my living room. Wrong type of vacuum. Yeah, the only vacuum I see here is you, because you suck!!! The only vacuum I see here is that joke, because it sucked all the energy I had to write the rest of this. It feels like I am you now and you are me instead. Then I see there’s blood on your wedding dress. I thought we made it very clear that neither of us are anywhere close to that. Now I see you trouble, it’s coming up ahead. Hello? Just going to ignore me, now? The world is quiet, there is nothing left unsaid. When I’m sleeping in my own place, I’m not home. Then where are you? Oh, now you answer me. I am you now and you are me instead. It is coming now, my friend, and it’s the end.
Streetlights – Wild Cub
First lyric in this song mentions the moon. I just want it be said that I almost always perfectly sequence these CDs–you mean, we almost always perfectly sequence these CDs. Right, right. But it’s just like every song flows into each other on every CD whether it be a connection by words or by sound, and I really want it to be recognized by all the haters out there. Q, our problem isn’t haters. Our problem is not having enough clout to even get haters. We only get like one new person at a time, max, listening to these because the only time we can play them are in cars. And people are getting rid of their CD players in cars. Fortunately we can still play the playlists, but you’re correct. When I say “that’s alright, it’s alright”, it’s a lie. I can see it, a shadow cast alone. When the stars shine down from heaven… oh man, another connection to the moon. But it’s a lie, it’s a lie. It’s alright.
She Lays Down – The 1975
Because we finally go to bed as she lays down. The metaphorical “she”, that is. Of course. It’s whoever the listener has in mind as they listen. At least, that’s the meaning of the song in context of our mix CD. The 1975 has its own very straightforward meaning of it being a song about the lead singer’s mother, but death of the author and all that. Nah, Nana would be death of the author, this is about postpartum depression. I know it’s nowhere near the same level of pain as true postpartum depression, but man I got real sad when you moved across the country. It really broke me up too, A. Even though we make so many jokes about how much we dislike our jokes and our natural chemistry when around other people, I really, really miss you. I’d like to say I’ve no reason to complain, but I wear a frown and dressing gown when I lay down so far away. I pray that you make it back over water, over terrain, without the engines going bust. And I hope I see you soon for another Coldprom. Alright now I don’t want to come back. Kidding! Kidding. Thank goodness we have the internet to keep us together in spirit. Yeah.
And after all 6000+ words, we finally made it through our explanations of Eleventh Hour and Chill 2. Even though I know no one who clicked on this read it, thank you all so much for even visiting the post and upping the reader count. We said at the end of our last big post that we’d have a new mix CD within four months. We were only off by about… ten months on that prediction. It seemed longer because we didn’t make the listing public until now despite having it all finished and burned a month ago. That’ll happen when you want to write 6500 words and burn out halfway through. It’s better to burn out than to fade away. Wrong song! And with that, we’re out. Thanks again, everyone. Especially you, A. You too, Q.
*sniff* What a touching, bittersweet marathon of a post. I’m so happy Q&A made up! Uh, boss, did you actually read that? What? No, no, no no of course not, intern. Why would you think that? Well, you’re crying, and you’re trying to hide the computer screen from me, so I just assumed. You’ve assumed before that you’d get paid for this job, and how often do these assumptions turn out correct? Point taken. But you’ve gotta not let the soap opera nonsense actually get to you. Hey! The Q&A friendship is real and is my friend! No, it’s a marketing ploy to get people to listen to their new CDs. It would have to be literally the worst marketing ploy of all time in that case. You’re not wrong. I’m the boss: I’m never wrong. Now who’s assuming?