Monthly Archives: November 2016

Local Blogger “Not Bitter” No One Reads His Blog


Local blogger Ryan Johansen, in his daily press conference, said that he was “not bitter” that his viewership had dropped recently. “Look, I know music blogging no longer brings in the big bucks or even the big data, but it’s … Continue reading

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Quick Album Reviews


Look I’m not bitter, I just don’t want to spend 2000 words of my essence writing individual album reviews that are only read twice and then lost to the the void of the internet forever. So for the first time … Continue reading

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Reflektor


Arcade Fire is a band I listen to because I figure it’s necessary for people like me to. I didn’t explicitly ever find myself thinking “boy I really wish I had Arcade Fire’s albums”. They just came into my possession … Continue reading

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Idiots Going to the Midnight Release for Sun only Find Moon There


In a very bizarre phenomenon, yesterday people lined up in front of GameStops waiting for the midnight simultaneous release of the sun and the moon. Yet, as everyone should have expected, the only thing they found was the moon. Because … Continue reading

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There’s Nothing Good Here!


Can someone please, please recommend me a good Parisian restaurant? They invented the goddang word for a place to eat and yet don’t have a single good one. Guess it’s time for me to go on with another one of my world-famous … Continue reading

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Paris? More Like “ParistheWorst”!!!!


A Poem Baguette? More like tragic-uette! Eiffel Tower? More like “I-Fail Tow-where?” City of lights? More like “city of blights”! Carafe d’eau? More like “crap-afe de loser-au”! Metric system? More like, actually-that-is-a-far-better-system-than-imperial-and-I-respect-it. Kir? More like, “problem”! (see this is a … Continue reading

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