An Interview with an English Major


This past Monday, I sat down with my good friend and English major Riley Sheahan. I hoped my ineffable acquaintance would have something to say about his major considering course registration is coming up, and I’m looking for some good filler classes.

John Keller (JK): What classes are you signing up for next semester?

Riley Sheahan (RS): Well, I don’t know if this is exactly the kind of answer your question is looking for, but I just think it needs to be said because the people here just don’t really get it, you know?

JK: That didn’t answer my question at all. I asked about what courses you’re taking.

RS: Oh, yeah, nah, yeah, like we get it but we don’t get it and I just feel really strongly that someone needs to stand up and just say everything that we as a collective are thinking of, you feel me?

JK: Are you even taking classes next semester?

RS: Oh yeah, yeah, totally, man, totally, that just reminds me of the book “The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave” which I’m sure you’ve heard of, but just in case I’ll explain since I really think it’s relevant to the question you asked and once I explain it that relevancy will come real apparent, okay it’s this Roman slave who says a bunch of moral things, you know, and it’s like some crazy stuff like “slavery is bad” and I just think that in this political climate and in this economy especially that like you know he was right and I know that it doesn’t sound like it’s relevant but if you really think about it I think you’ll know I’m right.

JK: What?

RS: I mean, just like Publius was and frankly that’s what I truly think. Anyway, I gotta run, I still haven’t finished my 250 word response to the reading since I just don’t know what to say.

 

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About pungry

Making strained metaphors funny.
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2 Responses to An Interview with an English Major

  1. An A for excellence in nonsensicellence!

  2. Hank Turner says:

    English 101?

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