8


I recently finished another video game that I liked so much I wanted to write about it. However, I got 800 words in, decided I hated everything I wrote, and all those words and pictures have sat in my draft folder here since.

What I’m trying to say is that I accidentally found out that it was my website’s 8th birthday when I visited this place ten minutes ago, trying to get back on that video game review. Like a dad who forgot it was his son’s birthday until on his way home from work, I’m now struggling to find enough words to fit a small card from the local grocery store.

I recently re-read Jon Bois’ Breaking Madden. It’s a series in which Bois creates ludicrous scenarios in the football video game simulator series “Madden”. During its runtime, Bois spent a week coming up with the scenario, finding Twitter users to participate, record what happens, and then write an article about it. It’s perhaps the funniest bit of web content ever produced. You can read it here: https://www.sbnation.com/breaking-madden/archives/.

I highly recommend reading that, since it is a ball of creative joy compared to anything else ever written, especially when compared to the rest of this post, which will be unending whining. See, Bois’ work is exactly the kind of writing I would have loved to do years ago. “But, wait, Pungry!” my imaginary reader stand-in says, “Why do you say ‘loved’? You could still do this!” See, where some people may get inspired by great work in the field they wish to pursue, I lose all confidence in my own work if I see anything similar to what I hope to do that is, in my eyes, better than what I have. See, I’m a defeatist.

If you read my post about my blog turning 7 (and who are we kidding I completely forgot what I wrote in that until I looked it up to write this; the only person who researches what I write is myself), you would have seen a very pessimistic scrawl about how, despite Pungry.com being more popular than ever, I was quite down on my writing. One year later, the fame has dried up, and so has any confidence I have in this. I don’t think I’ve written one funny thing all year.

That’s obviously something someone writes when they’re fishing for a compliment. I have said a lot of similarly negative things this past year about many things in my life, and, since I’m usually saying this to other people, the other person generally responds with that “expected compliment”. Except I say negative stuff like that because I genuinely feel like that. I seriously think I haven’t written anything funny this year. I don’t want people cherry-picking quotes from articles I wrote last year, reposting them in the comments, and saying “oh, but this line was so funny”. No, I don’t want that. I want validation that this website sucks.

Fortunately, I already have that validation. I already said that this website has lost any semblance of fame. It’s true! I’m on pace for 1300 views this year. In 2016, I had 2500+, and in 2017 I had 2000+. Sure, I’m producing less content, but it’s also a sign that I suck. After all, I have done more publicity than ever for this website this year. I’ll be real with you all for a second. I’ve been aggressively applying to jobs this past month and a half, and I’m listing my eight years as owner of this site as experience with a link to my website in my resume. And yet this website gets no traffic from any would-be employers. I know putting this paragraph on here will probably drive away the one recruiter that clicks that link for obvious reasons, but I want to publish it anyway. It’s my website.

Looking back at my Seven Years post some more, there is one prediction that was accurate. In that post, I called for Insomniac Games to bring Spyro the Dragon back, and earlier this year some generous company bought the rights to remake the original trilogy and it comes out in the fall. Although they did say they’re remastering the entire soundtrack as well… which means no Stewart Copeland… which means probably a worse soundtrack. It’s so easy to find negatives in everything.

But there is a genuine positive, at the end of the day (as one of my two readers loves to say). And that’s that this website has been going for 8 years. Yes, it has only 5500+ views in that time, which is a horrible HORRIBLE ratio. Yes, I don’t actually like anything I’ve written. But, yes, I’ve written it all, and I’ve had the courage to publish all 330 posts that are public. At this point, pungry.com is one of those blogs that’s only impressive in how long it has gone on without any backing whatsoever. It’s the equivalent of one of those houses you find in the middle of nowhere that the owner built by themselves. He/she didn’t understand modern plumbing techniques, couldn’t hook it up to electricity, had no clue what insulation was, but he/she built a dang house without anyone else’s help, and he/she got to sleep in it for eight years. Before a tornado blew it down.

Thanks for reading. I’ll be in my tornado basement if you need me.

About pungry

Making strained metaphors funny.
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2 Responses to 8

  1. I laughed after a few sad sighs – love the tornado basement! Love you! (You could be the person who helped tons of old people write their memoirs and have nada for it other than the good vibes. Guess that’ll have to do for now. Never know what something means at the time).

  2. Hank Turner says:

    Hey! 330 is a big number. Most poets only reach.330 words.

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