Humans are creatures of habit. I noticed a while ago that I made a blog post every month. Since then, I’ve forced myself to continue this streak, even after I put everything private and no one’s read any of this crap during those months. If you’ve ever had a Snapchat streak, you’ll understand why I still do this. If you’re like me and never had a Snapchat because you’re too cool for social media, well, you should understand the niceness of a routine now that something has drastically taken it away. Probably.
I’m one of the people who could reasonably say that my lifestyle was quarantine-like, in the same way Spelunky is a “Rogue-like”. I went to work in person, but would try as hard as possible to shut myself inside and on a screen afterwards. But I really cringe at any joke that is “tfw you’re a quarantine shut-in before quarantine” that tries to lionize loners like us. Leave me in the dark and alone. Which I fortunately am both now that my roommate has gone to bed.
I haven’t written anything funny during this streak since mid-2018. People who know my real self (which isn’t very hidden) know why that might be, but it still frustrates me. I simply don’t find humor in everyday situations anymore. My job before this whole covid thing was to sit in a room all day and scan documents. I had a corner office with a view of a lake as my one amenity. It was soul-sucking. But so was my data entry job prior. Yet, I could easily make jokes to my coworkers in person. I no longer can translate my jokes into words. Insert line about how this website is a joke or it’s a joke you thought you were ever funny or whatever self-deprecating garbage you want.
No, my isolated job of scanning documents led my mind down different mental pathways from comedy. The first was towards Pitchfork-brain. The writing style of a Pitchfork reviewer is absolutely insane, and it greatly influenced my thoughts on the way to the grocery store or home. But the second is YouTube video game video essays where guys spend at least 30 minutes talking about a video game. The influence is so real that I’ve started drafting my own script of a potential video essay on Spyro: A Hero’s Tail, and am only halfway done… at 5500 words. I thought it would keep my streak going but now I’m panic-writing this last minute because I didn’t want to upload something half done and call it good, like a college student who realizes that they’ve written ten pages to a prompt when the maximum allowed was three.
Man, that joke doesn’t even make me smile. I used to think I was funny. And I still think old me was funny, I just don’t spend time with old me the same way slightly-younger me did. Two years ago, I would re-read blog posts from seven years ago, and just have a good time. Nowadays, my own website isn’t the first thing that comes up when I type “p” in the address bar–it’s Pitchfork. It might be a sign I’ve outgrown this website. It might be a sign that I’m not as loyal as I assume. It might be a sign that I have a condition that causes me to check and re-check the Coldplay album review scores, hoping that they’ve updated them to all be 10s.
I don’t have much else I want to say. I’d like to get the Hero’s Tail thing done soon so I don’t have to make more BS content like this. I’d like to write something funny next month. I’d like to pull a reverse of one of my April Fools pranks (my only one, I think) and reopen the site. But Dragalia Lost has an April Fools’ day event where you walk a dog and take photos with it, so I’m doing that instead. I don’t even like dogs that much.