Category Archives: Uncategorized

Coldplay’s new track “Higher Power” has Chris Martin singing “you’ve got a higher power” repeatedly for the chorus. And, frankly, that’s ridiculous. No one in the universe has a higher power than Coldplay. I bet if Vegeta scanned Chris Martin, … Continue reading →

Prominent Nintendo leaker “DecayDonkeyKong” gazed into his crystal ball, and correctly foretold that the beloved video game company would announce the name “Mario” during the most recent Nintendo Direct. In his now-deleted tweet (deleted in order to protect his sources, … Continue reading →

Super Mario Sunshine is a great game, but it can be difficult to find all 240 blue coins to 100% it. Especially when you thought you collected all of the ones in a certain act, but actually missed some. That’s … Continue reading →

Slay the Spire is a “player-versus-enemy” roguelike card game. In it, a player is tasked with assembling a deck that can slay the titular spire. Along the way, the player can also receive items called relics that give the player … Continue reading →

The Hero of Lemrule finally met his match in his quest to save the world. Flying terror Ashkasha, who ravaged the village of Kortiga last month in a one-man air raid, lured the hero into a dank dungeon just outside … Continue reading →

High school junior, soccer team forward, and aspiring professional League of Legends gamer James Byrd recently became the coach of his younger brother’s middle-school soccer team. An opening appeared when the Bakersfield Bandits’ previous coach was disbarred from the league … Continue reading →

Long-time owner, first-time writer for the Super League here. Frankly, I’m very bad at evaluating players in the Super League. Just look at my all-time winning percentage! But no one else wanted to do it, so I figured I should … Continue reading →

Local man Sicnarf Loopstok is reportedly angry that another local man is enjoying the new video game The Last of Paper Mario: Part II. “I just can’t stand these goddanged sheeple that think UNintelligent [emphasis sic] Systems or Naughty-Good-Developer, Dog … Continue reading →

This Friday marks the 10th anniversary of The Great Tree’s independence from the hostile takeover of Lord Crump. The heroic Mario Mario, of the famous Mario brothers, teamed up with Pungry to save the Punis as well as the rest … Continue reading →