Category Archives: Uncategorized

Flying Boss Breaks Floating Platform Hero is On


The Hero of Lemrule finally met his match in his quest to save the world. Flying terror Ashkasha, who ravaged the village of Kortiga last month in a one-man air raid, lured the hero into a dank dungeon just outside … Continue reading

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Soccer Coach Uses LoL Tactics


High school junior, soccer team forward, and aspiring professional League of Legends gamer James Byrd recently became the coach of his younger brother’s middle-school soccer team. An opening appeared when the Bakersfield Bandits’ previous coach was disbarred from the league … Continue reading

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YOUR SLXXIX Mark Bellhorn Preview


Long-time owner, first-time writer for the Super League here. Frankly, I’m very bad at evaluating players in the Super League. Just look at my all-time winning percentage! But no one else wanted to do it, so I figured I should … Continue reading

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Local Man Angry That Somebody is Enjoying New Video Game


Local man Sicnarf Loopstok is reportedly angry that another local man is enjoying the new video game The Last of Paper Mario: Part II. “I just can’t stand these goddanged sheeple that think UNintelligent [emphasis sic] Systems or Naughty-Good-Developer, Dog … Continue reading

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Governor Pungry Goes into Phase 4 of Opening Boggly Woods Despite Outbreak of X-Nauts in Great Tree to Celebrate 10th Anniversary of Freedom from Lord Crump


This Friday marks the 10th anniversary of The Great Tree’s independence from the hostile takeover of Lord Crump. The heroic Mario Mario, of the famous Mario brothers, teamed up with Pungry to save the Punis as well as the rest … Continue reading

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Nuclear Families in Video Games


Ah, the nuclear family. One major part of a balanced American dream. You have a husband, a wife, a son, and a daughter all living happily together in a nuclear family. It is the end goal of life, and a … Continue reading

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DRV3 vs PL vs. PW: AA


Danganronpa V3 and Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney are both video games. I start my essay with the simplest of truths because that was one of the ways middle school English claimed was best for hooks, but I … Continue reading

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Everyday Life


  I love Coldplay. Everyone knows that. But the Coldplay I knew and the Coldplay that created this album are two starkly different Coldplays. Lots of people would argue that there’s already been multiple Coldplays–the one they fell in love … Continue reading

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